Thanks for the kind words Rhapsody.

I am off to the doctor tomorrow to see if I can finally get help. I do not think I am happy with me and the more I think about it am starting to realize that I have been that way forever (long time). Things in my past that I was not happy with at the time are now making sense as to why that is. I am still having hard time opening up and being honest about that however.

If I do not change soon - my 15 year marriage is going to be over. To be honest at this point I am not sure I want to save my marriage. I also am trying not to make any rash decisions as I know that I am having depressive problems right now, so do not want to make a big mistake and regret if forever.

I feel like I can not do anything right for my husband right now. I am wondering if that is really true or if it is me. He keeps telling me that it is me -when I try to tell him how I feel - he just says that I am being ridiculous and childish. He always has some unkind words to say to me about my feelings.

Maybe it is me and that I am really depressed.

Thanks again for the kind words.

Sadly Unhappy
Wanting to Run Away