hi saddlyunhappy.

first off, can i just say welcome to PsychCentral. im sure using this site will help you find some answers you are looking for.

i think we all hit problme areas in our lives, when we lack direction, focus, love etc. the only way to sort it out is to stop doing the negative things in your life and focus on things that make you happy, whatever that may be. the trouble is, after 15 years of the same old stuff everyday life can seem dull and hard to live, its so easy to want escape. the point im trying to make is that we only live once, so why live a life we are not happy with?

what i would advise you do, saddlyunhappy, is to sit down with your husband, and tell him exactly how you feel, say you feel like running away, ending the marriage etc and if he still says your childish etc then you know your marriage isnt worth saving, in my opinion. and if he loves you he will realise you are in need of his help and he should (i stress the word SHOULD) help you.

it is sometimes hard to open up to others, especially if you normally get negativity from loved ones, ie, your husband. but it will get easier. the best thing to do, i found (so this is my opinion) is that i found someone who i can pm and talk to, one to one, and then slowly felt like i could open up to more people, so try that if you feel it might help. you have done a good thing by joining PsychCentral and that should, in itself, help a little.

Good luck with everything, you can always pm me if you want anything, like a chat etc.

take care and once again, welcome to PsychCentral. your at the right place my friend.