Quote:
Originally Posted by Torterra1777
I need help. I get bullied everyday since 2010. I got punched in the face today and I cant take it anymore. I overdose on energy drinks cause I get no sleep. I mean like 12 a week. Sometimes 6 a day. On some days i dont even eat. I also cut myself because I went from not even experienceing death to 3 in less than a year. Plus my gf moved away which made me cut even more. I have 24 scars on my body and I'm thinking of cutting more cause of he bullying. I'm living a terrible life because I get internally and externally abused every day. I hope someone has a way to turn my life around.
P.S. the worst I have done was get bullied, drink 6 energy drinks then throw up, and cutting myself all in a 4 hour period.
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Sounds to me like you have experienced QUITE a lot in the last two years, with little or no support. I'm sorry to hear you've been bereaved thrice and that you've at the same time experienced a painful break-up. In some ways the breaking up feels almost as horrible as a death of a loved one, because that person goes away in an irrevocable manner.
The cutting, the not eating, the over-drinking of energy drinks... I have some thoughts on these, which I'd like to share. I have taught in a school and because I was only 10 years older than my students I knew people who could talk to me about their tendencies towards self-harm and self-abuse (perhaps because intuitively they knew I have a history of the same).
I think hurting yourself can be very addictive. There is temporary release in doing so, and that release can be addictive and it really becomes difficult to stop. Cutting is particularly dangerous because you could cut too deep and that can be fatal. I'm guessing that what you're wanting is some support, some clarity and some hope as to how to deal with this stuff; I'm suggesting that there are other paths to dealing. What those paths are of course is your choice.
That you're here, you've posted, and you're talking about it at least somewhere is one huge step. There is hope in that because you're taking a step on your own.
I agree with everyone. It isn't easy to talk to someone about something this traumatic and complicated, but even if you are not comfortable with taking issues of cutting to a counselor, talking to them about the bullying is important. If you are concerned for your safety, talk to them about that as well.
Please know also that no matter how many people leave, you are precious and loved. So please do take care of yourself.
Much, much love and many hugs.