I don't have BPD but I have recently been researching it online as I am very worried for my boyfriend, who has a history of many of the symptoms associated with BPD. I wonder if anyone can offer advice on how I can broach this topic with him in a way that will cause minimal issues.

I love my partner very much but I am running out of energy on how to deal with the constant issues we are having in our relationship. It is a same sex relationship.

I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years. Initially he was very interested in me but at the time I wanted to be friends only. At the time, I thought the way he dealt with this was very unusual, he became very upset and would alternate between declaring me as his best friend but then he would often feel very betrayed by me and would say some awful things. He eventually entered a relationship with a new guy, and it was an extremely tumultuous relationship that involved a lot of arguments and unhappiness. I always took his anecdotes about the relationship at face value and it seemed his partner was very unreasonable and violent. After less than a year they broke up, this caused him a lot of despair. He revealed that he had attempted suicide while in the relationship by drinking bleach. Our friendship grew stronger while I consoled him and eventually we became boyfriends.

It was within the first week that we had our first argument - it shocked me a great deal because of the ferocity of his anger, that I didn't love him enough etc. I am a reasonably quiet and sensitive person while he is very social and loud, I put it down to that because I was excited to be in a new relationship.

But it gradually became apparent that small things I would do would set him off. Sometimes he would make snarky comments that I would learn to ignore because if I were to react in any way to them it would cause a huge argument. Even a wrong facial expression can cause him great anguish.

But it didn't take him very long to declare me the love of his life, and he bought me a very expensive commitment ring in white gold with a diamond on it. It is a very nice ring.

He believes that bad luck follows him around. He can be quite spontaneous in his decision making and that often leads to poor outcomes. Such as driving a long way away in his mother's car, letting the battery go flat and then having to smash the car windows to get back inside. This caused him a tremendous amount of grief and shame and I did my best to offer him support and consolation.

Sometimes he disappears and won't answer my calls or respond to messages and I become very worried. But on the occasion that I haven't been unable to take his call immediately, he becomes very upset and asks me many, many questions about my whereabouts. We have gone through many problems because he imagines that I am cheating on him. He will ask me for my passwords to Skype so he can check if I know a particular associate of his. He has said on many occasions that he doesn't trust me.

On one occasion he memorised the number of a missed call I had on my phone and then later rang it, convinced I was cheating on him. It was a work client of mine.

I find myself in the habit of clearing my internet history because as innocent as my browsing habits may be, he will find something to become suspicious about.

On another occasion he took the drug crystal methamphetamine and then got lost in the city while being very scared and paranoid. This also brought him a lot of shame and took weeks to get over.

He becomes very snarky at times, I once made the mistake of asking him to speak nicer to me. I said there was no need to be aggressive. He immediately flew into a rage, saying how dare I call him aggressive. "This is what aggressive is!" he yelled while throwing things about. He had a breakdown that night that involved fits of screaming and crying, and torrents of criticism from him that I quietly took.

He seems to experience very intense emotions. When he is good, he is very happy and a joy to be around. He has a great sense of humour and makes me laugh all the time. But when he is depressed he is awfully sad, and I try my best to be there for him. When he is angry he becomes furious.

Most recently he told me that he had been drugged and sexually assaulted a week earlier. He is getting counselling for this and I'm trying to be there for him. But it seems everything I do is not enough - I am not supportive enough and don't love him enough, he says. But I have made great sacrifices with my work to be there for him in times of need.

It is very frustrating and I find myself becoming very drained and withdrawn. I am starting to feel very depressed. And don't know what to do.