Written 7/3......6 days after my abandonment

Isolated am I from the world.*
Looking through a lense from afar
No feelings, no emotions, no real sensations
Head in the clouds.
My eyes looking at the world and myself from the stratosphere.*
Unaware of much of my surroundings*
Nothing sinks in.
Will not remember much of today when tomorrow dawns.*
Fought this feeling.
Cried when I first felt the distance arise from the depths
But it is a saving grace, a lifesaver.*
If I can't feel, I can't cry
Can't scream in frustration.
Or fall in to the depths of despair
Most importantly, I won't suicide*
I won't lose total hope
I won't lose myself.*