Manifestations of a Problem

It has become clear to me that I have some control issues. I see it in every part of my life. Professionally, I like to do things my way; academically, I am always the one who goes trough the paper, formats it, corrects it, because I don't trust it would be as good if someone else did it; in my relationship with my mother, I control the extent to which she can approach me and be close at every level and in the relationship with my boyfriend I tend to assert a certain domination, usually verbally.

Obviously, this has brought me a lot of issues at every part of my life: difficulty working as part of a team, a completely disfunctional relationship with my mother and a hard time with my boyfriend, who also as a quite controlling personality.

The Root of the problem

I suffered psychological and emotional abuse from 13/14 to 16/17, from an uncle who at the time became my mother's lover and my "tutor". At 13 he fist manifested his sexual interest in me, he reinforced when I was 15 - fortunatelly he never actually directly sexually abused me. At 15 he beat me to the point of uncounciousness (and I woke up still being punched in the face).
He is the most controlling, manipulative person I know and so I lived for 2 years feeling I couldn't trust anyone (not even my mother, because she didn't protect me), I lived in terror of possible sexual abuse and in terror of physical agression - I entered in survivor's mode: I was alert 24/7, I slept with a razor under my bed, I always slept with the most clothing on as possible and tied my pajama trousers, etc.

Solving the Issue

I've been in teraphy for 2 years and a half now. I'm still completelly clueless has to how to surpass the trauma.
I now realise that my controlling behaviour is possibly me trying to regain the control I once lost; that I un-learned how to deal with my inner emotions and so I need to control the exterior; that I lack trust in people and so it is difficult for me to expose myself to others, feeling that it would leave me at their mercy.

And so, I know the root, I know the effects and consequences but I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SOLVE IT; it's like I DON'T HAVE THE EMOTIONAL TOOLS TO DO IT.
I am so confused when confronted with this, WHAT DO I DO?

Anyone with input, similar situation or answers, please help.

Thank you.