Quote:
Originally Posted by Contrast
It could be sadism in its classical form..
There is more to the behavior of ASPD than wanting to watch people suffer whilst feeling euphoric during it. Technically; this whole explanation would not justify your (in)accurate diagnosis.
When I was diagnosed, the doc (who discontinued our sessions) knew on the first session I was your casual ASPD - a compulsive liar and a typical manipulator.. he even recommended that I don't see professionals in case they unintentionally teach me something that will help enhance my manipulation.
You claim you can be extremely empathetic when you want to,
you see, ASPD cannot do that; they don't have the capability of switching the ON button for empathy.
I think what you need to distinguish with your doc is whether the diagnosis was accurate or an accidental/careless misdiagnosis.
I'm not sure if this exists but maybe you could have: BPD w/ antisocial traits? I don't know.
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That's partially what I'm wondering. I'm highly manipulative and a liar, but those are also symptoms of BPD, so I don't necessarily attribute those to the popping up of ASPD for me. I asked one of my therapists why ASPD could have popped up for me on the testing and she was straight forward with me and said that it may be the mere fact of the thoughts and urges that I have. But then I have other treatment professionals that confuse me with their answers. I have had treatment professionals who have dropped me from their treatment rotation because of the way I behave. They say that I am "extremely charming" and can get what I want because of it. I am a skilled liar, and yet I just don't see the necessity in telling the truth sometimes especially if it will have reprecussions on my behalf. But as I said, this is also a symptom of BPD...and is also a symptom of my past drug addiction so it could be some left over behaviour from that?
I suppose it could be sadism. I'm just trying to gain clarity on the whole diagnosis in and of itself to find the answers. Since my empathy is so incredibly flaky and unreliable I feel so unsure about whether it's there or whether it's real. Sometimes it feels forced. Sometimes I feel annoyed that I'm trying to care, but don't. But few times I'm actually concerned and I'm like OH I CARE! But it feels so infrequent that when it's gone it feels like it was never there.
And I guess at the end of this all, more conflicting is that with my other dx's is that the fact that I'm so troubled about this must mean that the diagnosis is flawed...right?