I agree with Lee, something definitely went wrong with your mother, that she behaves the way she does. There's sadly, unfortunately, probably not much that you can do about that right now.

I think hatred is an emotion that keeps, or pushes, us away from people we would otherwise be drawn to. Babies need their parents, mothers especially, and so there's this part of us that we're born with so that we are emotionally drawn to them.

But then, when a woman like your mother has behaved the way she has toward you, the hatred kicks in -- part of your own self-protection emotions.

Here's the dilemma though -- little kids often learn to turn the hate against themselves, because it doesn't feel safe to feel that way about parents we need.

You don't need your mother now like you did when you were a little kid, so for the hateful emotion to be felt toward her is a step in the right direction. But the next step is making a better life for yourself -- and not treating yourself like she has behaved toward you.