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Your ability to empathize isn't totally non-existent, but perhaps it's a resistance thanks to your BPD? I'm able to understand how a situation can upset someone but I'm not really reactive unless there's some sort of consequence/reward for my participation. Otherwise, I'm pretty much stoic. Any impulsive traits that resulted in your ASPD dx might also be Borderline, because there ARE subtypes to the personality disorders that result in a series of spectrums... One of those is Impulsive Borderline. Also, in the ICD, they specify two versions of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder -- Borderline & Impulsive. Which I assume are interchangeable.
Obviously I'm not the ASPD-police or any sort of dignified title as such! Though that would be pretty nifty... It's just worth looking into. Violent thoughts, manipulation, & lying are all too common human characteristics in my opinion. But as soon as you tell a psychologist what is really on your mind -- like they urge you to -- they are more than happy to put you in a category you may or may not belong in just because it makes them feel safer. Like they'll call heavily emotional patients "Borderline" when they are being non-compliant, regardless if it is the fault on the therapist's part.
I, however, can understand what you mean about the violent/sexual thoughts or urges. I'm also schizoaffective & I've really chalked those up to psychotic or intrusive thoughts. I'm not really violent to this day, though I have my moments. But the thoughts are still incredibly present. I was a really ridiculously violent kid though. Not sure if it was early signs of bipolar, antisocial behaviours, or trauma related. Or it could perhaps be all three? Regardless, you might also be a sadistic personality which could account for the intensity of those symptoms & their continued presence. But they don't give out that diagnosis anymore, so they might have thought it best to call you ASPD since they didn't have anything else to fit.
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