You have never had a sincere conversation with someone expressing your feelings without resorting to hatefulness? I can very clearly let someone know how angry, frustrated, etc. I am with them without having to insult them, belittle them, cuss at them, etc. My choice of words, tone, etc. definitely IS my treatment of them. I choose to be clear about my feelings. I also choose to handle them with some measure of respect and civility. May not work for some people, but that's an important value in my life. You don't have to be mean to get your point across.