I quibble with the term hateful.
The thing the woman I see reacted to was when I said she had asked a stupid and mocking question. A statement I thought would not be bothersome at all (it ended up she was trying to be funny by asking the question ) (she failed). This lead to the worst thing I think I have said to the woman which was she should stop trying to be funny and that she is not as funny as she thinks she is. I don't really consider that hateful as such, but I would not like it said to me. I had tried more subtle ways of getting her to stop to no avail. I do think what I said was true, and I did need her to stop doing it.