I run a business with my cousin, she is like a sister to me, we'll call her Maggie. When my father passed away we were in our 20's, it was traumatic for the whole family. I was depressed for years, but also doing crazy stuff like bad drugs and just nuts. But at that time the company was handed to Maggie and myself. We both became instant young executives. We worked very hard and built it into something like it had never been.

About 2 years ago, she and I both were dx'd bp, her dx about a year after mine. I think it's just that it got worse with age unfortunately, we're both about 40 now. It runs in our family, was pretty obvious episodes we were both having.

Then the economy went bad, we lost a lot of customers. Things have been really bad.

There are many reasons I'm having trouble getting to work. There are things I work on remotely from home, but for example this week I only made it to the office 1 day, and it was not very productive. Now I'm still trying to get my arse in gear to take a freakin shower and just drive over there and work. But my brain hurts and feels so heavy and all I want to do is stay in bed and hide. At the same time, my brain won't stop, so much worrying, too many thoughts.

So I know I act pretty crazy sometimes, and usually proud of it. Hmm... delusional much that I think my crazy is more ok than hers? lol..

But Maggie has been been acting so freaking crazy and it's really affecting me badly! She had an affair last winter with one of our customers! She was sure she was in love with him, no one ever made her feel so loved, etc. There was no talking her out of it. Her husband found out, she got suicidal in front of their young kids, and went inpatient. So they got couples counseling, we lost another customer.

Anyway, now she is at it again - with another customer! She went out of town with him to another state, which was having a serious hurricane at the time, and lied to her husband about where she was. Her husband was frantically texting me that something emergency with the kids and he couldnt find her at the relatives house she said she would be going to. So I knew nothing about her even leaving the state.

I finally talked to her on the phone and she was giggly. I asked her wtf she thinks she's doing. She says, what do you mean? I said, well you just did this same thing a few months ago, wtf are you thinking! And then she says, oh you are on speaker phone by the way.(!) And then she has the guy talking to me, about how, oh no this is nothing like that other guy, I love your cousin and she loves me.

I was furious. I don't approve of her having another affair, I guess she's going to get a divorce. She's my business partner, and threw me into a phone call with her lover. Several times now, he's always with her, and being a part of our phone conversations. And she talks differently when she's with him, like will rip me to shreds for not paying bills on time, talking about all of our finance and business plans in front of him. And he chimes in with wanting to know details.

I feel like wtf! This feels like freaking twilight zone to me! Now they've taken off to Europe together, I found out from her husband. And this is supposed to be my business partner. I do the banking, so I'm seeing charges coming through for their hotels together. We cannot afford this, it is crazy. She barely answers my calls, and then it's like I can't talk to her alone.

I can't keep doing this, I've told her I feel panicky about all this, and she is seriously galavanting around the world. And what happens when she crashes down, I'm worried for her health, worried for if she will probably lose her children, I'm in no state to take them in.

I have to keep going, my bills have gotten so high, that I can't not work. I have the 3 kids, my mom to support. I get zero child support. I have to keep going somehow. But there are many things she does for the business that I am no good at, sales & marketing & travelling. I don't know how I'll keep working! How is a business supposed to stay in business with 2 crazy bipolar cousins running it? I have believed in us for a long time.... but lately I'm out of fuel. And having so much anxiety.

How much of what she does during this mania are we all supposed to forgive?

Right now, I'm staring at the bathroom like the shower is evil, but I have to do it. Tell myself, it won't be so bad just do it really fast... ughhh... I don't want to do anything but cry and hide!