If your pdoc has suggested it, then he thinks you are well enough for therapy. There have been times I haven't been well enough to be receptive to therapy, but that's usually when I've just been hospitalized. Sometimes just being able to talk to someone is therapy enough. We often sort things out by talking and the therapist can be a good sounding board for us to bounce things off of. I don't remember everything said in therapy either (and who knows - maybe that's because of my ECT too), but I leave with the sense of release and of being able to have a safe place to talk about difficult subjects.

As for therapy being a waste of healthcare dollars, I disagree. Yes, there are times I've felt like I'm paying to have a cup of coffee with someone. But think of the alternative. If the therapy can keep us well, or help us get better and reduce the risk of turning to things like drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, etc, and will help reduce our stress levels, isn't that worth it? That's where I see the potential for, I hate to use the term wasted, but perhaps preventable healthcare dollars. The physical effects alone of things like substance abuse, emotionally disordered eating, smoking (which some use to cope), heart attacks, high blood pressure.....I could go on and on here, but I think you get what I mean.

Go to the therapist. Enjoy the human interaction. Make it something special - get a latte or something special that you don't normally have. Try to find a park or something nearby to go for a walk in on therapy days. Give yourself something good to associate with going to therapy.