I sensed some not just "this is how I handle it" vibes from some posts. Not all. I am not saying I was right about my sensing it, but I did read some as coming off judgmental or smug. It did not really bother me, and I am not saying that was the intention and it was not from all posts that said they had never been hateful.
I think what one poster considers hateful can vary wildly from what another poster considers hateful which can vary even more wildly from what would be "hateful" in any given therapist/client pairing. What I say to the therapist could be received as less "hateful" (I don't like this term for most of what posters have reported they actually said) than if some other client said the exact same thing. And vice versa. Then, intent could be considered - is it only hateful if meant to hurt? Does it count or not count depending upon the speaker's intentions?