Yep, I know... we think we don't deserve it! It's so hard to *bear* it when someone loves us or is nice to us!

In my Self Help group, one of the readings I read says something in the vein of "...distorted perceptions...of positivity..." in other words, "Why are they so nice to me?" and "What do you want from me?"

In my life, I have felt like people have had ulterior motives for complimenting me (esp cause I am a woman) because they either have an insane crush on me (lol) or because they want something from me, or because they must be "sick" to like me!

I think it's because I just never felt lovable as a human being, always as some romantic figure or some specimen someone had to control.

Another thing, I feel pressured when someone is nice to me. How are they going to be if they see me for everything I am? I cannot bear the pain of that.

For me, I need to learn how to cope with rejection if that happens. And it's a struggle.

just my thoughts.

So, it's very easy for me to sabotage friendships and love relationships.

Billi