I'm sorry I don't have much advice but I can say that I understand and I get it and I know what it's like to start living double lives and your sitting there like right when it's starting and your sort of seeing it coming, but there's nothing you can do about it. You have no idea if the part taking over will even accept "you" and most likely they will not. I am sorry that you have to experience this also. It hurts to loose all those people. And it's near to impossible to ever get them back, but it feels like they should just reappear, because it wasn't YOU who abandoned them. And at the same time you completely understand that they don't grasp that and they were hurt. It sort of feels like "well it was just yesterday I saw you". Because of loosing time. But it's been years and it's hard to really get how hard it hurt them. It sucks. It sucks to never know where your going to be in five years. Is it worth getting my bachelors degree in nursing because are my other parts even going to use it or is it going to go to waste? Is it worth getting close to my mom, because some of my parts don't like her. And it's scary. It's really scary to have no control. To look back over the last decade and realize you've had no control over who went where, when and that that could potentially happen again, soon.