That's a lot of excuses you got there. I think what you need to do is be honest with yourself. Some people don't want to work with their alters and affect change. And if that is you accept it. But if you really want to understand yourself and your alters better I think finding a therapist is the best way to go. I know I have to talk to my t and I also know I would not have said a fraction of what I have told my t to anyone I know. Either way as long as you are ok and not being abused it's your life.