Hi Blacksheep. I am sorry you are going through so much turmoil right now. It sounds really hard.
I have been through something similar... I lost nearly a decade of my life to a different system of alters and when 'my' system came back to the front we found ourselves living in a different country and out of contact with all former people in our life (including our therapist). We also had to adjust to being a parent and in a completely different line of work (with a degree - bonus!).

My main point is I know how strange, terrifying, discombobulating, inconvenient, and confusing it is. When I 'came back' it destabilized me for several years. There was so much grief and confusion to process.

Your situation is different though, as you have lost your family, including your children. You are with a man you don't like and say he is your only source of support.
All I can say is - if being with this man is not a 'good' thing for you and where you want to go in you life then being alone is better. Being alone can be hard at first, but you can rebalance your self, heal old relationships and make new ones.
Now that you are 'back' what happens next is up to you.