I'm a bit drunk and sad right now! Though, is "drunk" really that much different than under the influence of prescribed sleeping pills or anti-anxiety medications? No, to me it feels the same except less severe hang over.

I'm not sure why I'm sad. Maybe because I can't just say, to my friends, "I'm sad." Without worrying about being a negative influence, someone undesirable...for me sadness just takes over.

And maybe I'm sad because my husband is depressed right now, he has bipolar and his moods are something I can be aware of and at the same time not understand the severity. I think it is "normal", I had my first "depression" as a child, my parents had been depressed, suicidal even, mother manic, it is normal...
And I know I can't make it better. It isn't my fault. I'm helpless. I can listen. That's it, but who can listen to me? Right now, lately, other than this temporary sadness and anxiety issues, I've been happy.

It has got to be that way, he's down, I'm up.

I want to say, get me my life back but, this is my life.

I'm lonely.