Thanks Carrie, for the welcome and the information both.
I had never thought of it as an addiction before, but it makes sense and it does help. Maybe the indepth talking about it has bumped up the urge, but I also wrestle PTSD and in the last few weeks it's been winning -- heavy on the flashbacks, nightmares, etc. Cutting has always worked for me before as a means of eliminating overwhelming emotional stress, and I think that's a large part of what's making me think of turning to it again.
Then I look at the scars on my arm, and wonder if I really want to add to them. People already think I'm enough of a freak.
I haven't tried journaling on a regular basis (given that I write for a living, I don't really want to do it in my spare time!), but I can't think of other good outlets. Talking to someone almost never works, because nobody but other self-injurers understands the need -- "other" people freak out about it. The shrinks are big on physical activity, but I have two jobs and frequently work nights and weekends, and I'd really rather be sleeping when I have the chance instead of going out for a walk. Have you tried anything else that works?
Candy
There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed. -- Peter Sellers
|