Hi, that happens to me also, I think about it and think I miss the lifestyle. Not for long though. Its gotten easier for me. Life is so much better. I just wont trade that. And my thinking has changed. Sometimes when I'm at work, something will pop into my head of something I did when I was drinking that I would never do now, and I cringe. No going back for me. Ive tried it too many times. It got really bad I was sick for a long time. Whats really scary is that it destroys your organs and you dont know it until its too late, I saw this with my neighbors son.