I love Leed's post, spot on!

May I add, just because he's family, it doesnt mean you have to take that. Am sure you wouldnt be friends with someone who spoke to you like this or caused you upset, and nor should you take it just because its from your brother.

Stick up for yourself, dont have to be rude, but just firm. Say that you do not appreciate him putting you down or start lecturing you and will leave the room next time he does it. He sounds a bit of a bully, and just because you dont live your life the same way as he does, doesnt mean its not working for you if your happy. Not everyone can be the life and soul of the party nor does everyone want to be.