Have you researched dissociation and the effects of trauma in general? I've never acted out my "evil side" very much -- but I understand the fear and the feeling that "I am evil". I don't feel that way currently, very much -- thanks to therapy. DX was DDNOS and PDNOS. Therapy for dissociation consists of bring that "part" into the therapy room and other such . . . you can find that online, too. I'm still working on the PDNOS -- not out of the woods yet but not giving up either.

There's lots of good info on the internet and books these days, so hopefully you can find the information you need to help yourself -- and maybe help your therapist help you, too? If the current one can't handle it, look for a specialist. I found a couple of them who could.

People with ASPD can feign empathy but cannot truly feel empathy. Unfortunately, the moment a therapist or psychiatrist reads ASPD as part of your diagnosis, they may be somewhat reluctant simply because there's a high possibility the treatment could improve manipulative abilities and they may not be able to accurately see through the masks the ASPD patient uses.

Many, or perhaps all, people with ASPD have violent or sexual urges, although they will not always act on them. The difference I see is you receive gratification and pleasure from the harm inflicted on others. In the DSM-III and DSM-III-R, such behaviour MAY fall under sadistic personality disorder (SPD). In the current version, ASPD was introduced but to avoid confusion, SPD was redefined as a paraphilia (sexual sadism). In other words, the criteria involves the gratification received has to be of a sexual nature, alongside any emotional gratification (which you described).

I'm not sure if you've come across Dr. Theodore Millon in your research but if not, he put forth the theory that each personality disorder has sub-types. Here is a link describing each sub-type. Keep in mind, he includes personality disorders from the the current version as well as older versions of the DSM.