(Cross posted from another forum, but wants people's input here, too.)

There is an older woman I really respect and enjoy being around. She is somewhat of a mentor to me, and – as cliché as it sounds – she is one of those people with the ability to make you feel really good about yourself, even after a few minutes or with a few words. She is encouraging and has helped me out a lot, and in general, she is very kind and sweet and selfless. She helps others to the point she neglects her health or risks her safety.

She has a quite interesting life story as well, and is more than willing to talk to you about it.

Well … there is a problem. I found out recently, and completely accidently, that she lies about herself. A lot. Like – where she is from and her family background. Stuff that I consider MAJOR. She lies as if it’s nothing.

I am – devastated, to say the least, that someone I love and respect could lie to me (and everyone else around her) about so much.

I have tried to come to terms with it but I am still struggling. Maybe she is mentally ill: she is a hoarder and she has told me that she takes medication for anxiety – and that she never really feels “normal” – and she is quite eccentric (not that that in itself is a sign of mental illness). I am not sure if she is delusional or something, but she doesn’t appear delusional in her day-to-day life. Or maybe something very traumatic happened in her past and this is her way of coping.

I suppose she has her reasons for lying, but would you stay friends with someone like this – and do you think she might not even know she is lying? I want to stay friends with her because I enjoy her company and she has gone out of her way to do things to help me, but I feel like my view of her has been tainted forever.

Please, help me understand this, if only minimally. Thanks.