I was a heavy drinker for about four years. Toward the end, I met the criteria for alcoholism I’d say – I probably got drunk 95% of the nights for two years. If I didn’t get smashed at the bar, I would get smashed at home – I could easily drink a bottle of wine and most of a second.

Alcohol made me euphoric, but in a mellow away. It erased all anxiety. I enjoyed music more (yes, really). It was like seeing the world through a different lens. Everything seemed more interesting, even the most mundane of people or situations.

Then, I would get completely drunk, and would have to sleep immediately. That part wasn’t as fun, but I would sleep within minutes )no insomnia!!). It happened more in the early days of my drinking. Toward the end, when I had built up significant tolerance, I would drink until 4:00AM and listen to music.

I didn’t stop at one or two drinks because I drank for the sole purpose of getting drunk – of losing consciousness (not literally) – of forgetting – of dulling my emotions. I never blacked out, though.

I have tried many other mind-altering substances, and alcohol was probably my favorite. (I loved stimulants, but they’re not legal and cost too much. Unlike stimulants, there is no comedown with alcohol. And it’s oh so easy to get it.)

I quit drinking entirely on my own, and haven’t had a drink for around fifteen months. I honestly don’t miss it.