Sorry to hear you're struggling. Hopefully it won't take the whole 12 months to get into court, at least as far as your income is concerned. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

I think you can use the time you have to wait to your advantage. I'm hoping you have a therapist. He/she can help you overcome your fear of courtrooms and help you get through this hearing. It's called desensitization therapy. Please talk to your therapist about it. You can get through this.