I was very freaked out sometimes when I felt a twinge of happiness or satisfaction at the thought of someone I loved feeling hurt. Very freaky. But it now feels like it was more related to the dissociated hurt and vengeful feelings I had in the relationship with that person. I didn't know I felt vengeful, I didn't know (couldn't acknowledge) I felt hurt. Once that came to consciousness I felt "better". Well, very, very hurt but not the other, freaky stuff.