The last ten years of my life have basically been controlled by fear. I had a break down at a very stressful job I was doing back then, and that's basically when it started. I coped by drinking for a lot of years and just getting by in life. Through therapy I've managed to straighten out my life pretty well, but I still can't seem to deal with fear. I let it paralyze me and keep me stuck in life. I have been having financial issues the last 9 months with pay cuts and job cut backs and huge repairs needed on my house to where I know I can't really afford it anymore. Yet, my house is my safe place...often to my detriment where I would hide out and isolate myself. I can tell what's basically happening is events are conspiring to push me out of my comfort zone.
I have come up with a possible plan to move to my favorite area of my world about 250 miles away in a mountain community. A much smaller city than where I live and much cooler. It's an area I have visited every summer with my parents since I was 8. It's always been a dream of mine to live closer to there. I can see this as an opportunity to make these changes in my life, except I am so terrified of change and leaving this comfort zone I have been in for over ten years. I am so prone to negative thinking from years of bullying growing up that it's still so hard to believe in myself, that I can be successful and happy. I just don't know if I can do this. But the scariest thing is that I know I need to do something. I can't afford up keep on my house, and my job may be phased out by the end of the year... I have been this way so long, and it only seems to get worse sometimes leaving me with no hope of ever changing. Does anyone experience fear like this? How do you deal with it?