Sometimes I dream about just letting all my anger out in one big hurricane. I can't indulge in this dream too often, or else it gets me all revved up and psyched, but I think about it every now and then. I dream about a room that has been specifically set up for the purpose.. black walls, black curtains, low but charismatic lighting, "workstations" set up around the room that are various things to let anger out on. The room would be soundproofed so I could scream or smash anything until my heart is content. Dummies set up as people, with voice boxes inside them that respond when you attack the dummy. Fake blood inside the dummy somehow. Angry, heavy metal music playing at a very high volume - i even know the exact songs I would have on. Maybe even a big wall set up so that i can throw red paint at it however I feel the urge. A room of destruction. But safe destruction so that nobody is hurt and nobody is at risk of anything (other than me getting carried away and breaking a hand or whatever).

Sometimes I think that if there was a room out there like that, I would be cured of this 31 year depression. It would only take me about an hour or so, but I would be well and truely cured. But I pity the fool that would have to clean it up afterwards! (probably would be me, lol)