Is your mother aware of your feelings? Are you afraid if you asked her why she was detatched it would hurt her? Maybe if you knew what was going on inside her head it would help you not to take it so hard. I have tried to detach myself from people and avoid getting to close sometimes in order to avoid what I percieve as the inevitable pain of loss when they go. People always go, they move, they die, they move on to other experiences. My Dad lived some miles from me, and when I would visit him it seemed he would just sit and watch tv, football which I hate,etc., and go to sleep. I wanted a closer relationship with him and my T told me if I wanted that I would need to do what my Dad liked to do, go fishing or whatever, since my Dad was not likely to change. I never really did that, but having the choice, knowing it was my choice allowed me to let go of the pain.