I kwow how you feel. And def had a few of those moments in soberity already. Yesterday I got into a very bad fight with my husband, and not using the tools I've learned in the program so far I fed into some of his behavoirs. Which led to me saying "I should just drink, f**k it You make me want too anyway!" Which thank god I didn't, I ended up going to a meeting with my sponsor. However the thought was there, just to be able to get numb and not deal with the BS. Fights with my husband were big trigers for my pick ups in the past. So I have to pay attention to that when and if we have a heated "debate". Most of the time we get along but no two people do all the time. I have to realize I may be changing and he may not be sure how to react about it.

Anyway sorry for somewhat venting on your thread. I guess what I was trying to say is I can relate to that feeling. Glad you posted and didn't pick up! Just one day at a time