You have very real and accurate worries, turtleboy. I hope you can talk to someone about all this. If seeing a therapist isn't an option you might consider seeing a minister or whatever depending on rather or not you are spiritually inclined. I know some people who get spiritual support and it helps them. I don't think that it would help me because I'm not religious but I just thought I would throw that out there just as an option.

Make sure you tell your doctor that you are worried about ending up in the hospital. Hopefully if he understands what you are going through he will help you more.