Hi Torterra1777 - im sorry for your bereavement and that this bullying has gone unchecked. Presuming you are in some sort of educational environment there must be a way for you to report the behaviour - the tutors will deal with it in a way that won't suggest you were the one who reported it and hopefully the situation will improve from there. Remember that bullies are just people who are dealing with their own insecurities and unhappiness, its unlikely you're the only person who has fallen victim to them so its best really to speak up now before it gets worse.

In the mean time i would attend meetings with a school therapist/counsellor to help you deal with how difficult your life has become both in school and elsewhere, they will also be able to liaise with your tutors if need be to make sure that you feel safe at school. Are your family/friends aware of what is happening? This sounds like a lot to deal with by yourself - you need to make sure you have a solid support network around you to help you progress and move on from this experience. If you don't already have a therapist outside of school or wherever it is you go then its probably best you arrange to meet someone, they will help you to cope with the feelings that lead you to self harm. They should also be able to help you with your bereavement and anxiety over your girlfriend.

As someone who has SI'ed for a very long time i can tell you it is a completely futile exercise - it is eventually ineffective and you're left scarred and emotionally exhausted - possibly addicted. It gets you absolutely nowhere. As does drinking energy drinks - your body cannot keep sustaining such manic highs so you need to focus on just eating healthily and getting the right amount of sleep, prescribed medication could help with the latter.

Trust me you will feel so much better by simply taking care of yourself you just need the incentive to do so - and this could come from wanting to do well at school. Focus on what you want out of life. The person with the power to change the situation is you. All the best.