Before medication, it made me forget. I'd drink to get drunk. Then I'd either pass out or get really angry. Either was better than hurting. Basically used in the same way as self mutilation. Doesn't feel good. Just better. I'm in DDIOP now, and honestly going completely dry (alcohol and pills) is hard as hell. I'm smoking about three times as much. So now I'm just going to have lung cancer. *sigh*