You sound so terribly depressed! Can't you talk to the doctor and have him adjust your medication?? It sounds like it just might not be working like it should be.  There are many times we have to have our med dosage adjusted OR CHANGED COMPLETELY. I've had to have my doctor changed my medication because I became almost "immune" to the medication. I'd been on it too long, and it just quit working. So he put me on something else which DID work.
Talk with your doc, ok? It can't hurt. God bless you and I pray you begin to feel better. Hugs, Lee 
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
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