For weeks I have been fine - thought this was all behind me - someone I was working with was SI'ing and she showed me her scars and talked about the method (she knows nothing of my issues) I new this had stuck in my head for a while and seemed the perfect method to cover my scars (fairly small ones) and so I could explain it as an accident in the future.

So tonight I was OKish, was busy in the house and then realised that method was right there in front of me - so I did it.

Now I feel utterly stupid, guilty, etc etc

I was dreading T and now I am really dreading T - I know I will feel ashamed amd hope he doesn't ask anything.

Damn it - why was I so stupid!