My father and brother were both abusive emotionally and physically after my mom died when I was 13. My father died 8 years later from a heart attack. My brother was complicent when his best friend raped me at 14. While I miss him sometimes, I do not miss the abuse of a depressed and dysfunctional family. I had to distance myself and live all of my adult life without family. I really miss not having a family sometimes.

I have since tried to forgive them for the past. A lot of it was the result of hurting people who should have known better but didn't. I have decided though I cannot carry the hurt and pain for the rest of my life. It was what it was and I cannot change the past, just keep it from screwing up the rest of my life if I can

Forgiveness is a process. I am doing it for me, not for them. And trying to make sure that I do not repeat the same mistakes with my own family