mmd - what a horrible situation raising kids has been the hardest thing in life ever. i kind of knew it would be, had natural home births for all 3, knowing that no matter how painful, it was going to be the easiest part of parenting! and yea it was freakin painful from hell!! and now, with these teenage years, it just hurts so bad, parenting, so much of it is straight pain through the heart.

my son is on probation, for about 3 weeks now. the po talked to me and agreed to tell him he has to go to school full time, even the judge said she wanted him in a school for social adjusting. then po met with my son and told him oh ok online school is fine.

i had him put on probation at the recommendation of the doctors and therapists, but what a freakin joke. he has no fear of probation, and the po is softer than me. i shouldn't say my son has no fear of it, i know he does, but he pretends to be tough. he's a lost hurt kid with bp plus other stuff. Finding help has felt so impossible at times.

I don't know what UA is? i have been dealing with cps/child services, they've been minimal help. mostly they just make me more stressed out!

Luckily I get along ok with my ex's. This son's dad, seems to have had to escape society to do what he had to for his sanity. and he works now, doesnt do the hard drugs anymore, so i need him to take son. his turn...