Are there any family members left in Europe or anything? Maybe there were relatives who sui'd (I just suggest it because we have it in my family tree) and she was trying to warn you or prepare you for the risk you were at to think about such things. Maybe she had battled those thoughts herself. Even still, some families will not discuss it straightforwardly. Some people really think it has to do with evil and such, and are afraid to admit that's how someone died, or for fear of how community will view their family.

And regarding the talk of torture, does not sound like good talk for around children. Was any of the family involved in the wars? maybe they had scarred memories.

My bf is german-american, his parents have accents. (I love their accents, I love any accents..) But his grandpa was in the nazi army, which makes me want to barf. And my 2 older kids are a quarter jewish. Sometimes I get paranoid like maybe this is part of why my bf hates my older son. The weird point I think I'm trying to say is that there are beliefs that trauma get passed down through our dna, something like that, for survival and evolution. Part of also why I think bf and I have some reason or karma to be played out.