NP... have you learned meditation? It really helps when overwhelmed... you can alter reality... and once you are really good with it, you can distort time, so when you need more time, you can expand it and when things are terrible until a certain event, you can compress it... just by working on calming will continue to help you... If this is part of your disorder, then you could surely dispel with the guilt. Are you doing this on purpose? I doubt it...so why guilt? You're doing what you can, and trying to do better. sounds like a plan, to me