(((angel jazz)) - one important rule to follow is.....never make important decisions when you're upset, especially a life or death one. After a crisis is over, the dust clears and we think much differently. Also I know for a fact, we can end up thinking differently as the years pass and we mature. This is how I think - we're all part of the big puzzle of life and you never know how you might affect someone for the better. Hang in there and call a professional. Here's some good links and feel free to vent as much as you like.

http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/