I really feel for you Button30 and I hope my previous post didn't seem harsh at all, as that wasn't my intent. The fact that she cheated on her spouse is what I suspected as well and I can totally understand why you would find that makes it hard to work with her. My soon to be ex H cheated on me among other things, so I do sort of understand. It hurts a lot.

It is so hard that once you know something like this, you can't un-know it. There is something that my T told a long time ago which I really wish I didn't know. Every once in a while something will bother me and this thing I know will make me doubt if I can trust him but luckily we have worked together for a long time and I am able to ignore it for the most part.

I also wanted to add though that whatever she did or did not do, only she and her H know what really went on between them and the unfortunate action that he took to hurt himself was his action. He chose to do that and I am sure that she probably does feel horrible about the way things turned out. Just like when my mother tried to kill herself because of how awful I was, that was her choice, not mine.