Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpiosis37
I really agree with Skyblue here. In fact, I'm currently in a situation where a very good friend of mine has stopped speaking with me without explanation. Since she won't tell me why, I asked a mutual friend of ours. Apparently, she heard from a "very reliable" source that I did x. I did not, have not, and would never do x. But, apparently, my friend is so convinced that she won't even give me the opportunity to tell her I didn't do it! So, I guess I'm just trying to echo the point that, sometimes (often times!) gossip is not true-- no matter how reliable the source (because the source mistakenly believes it is true!). Perhaps you should give T the benefit of the doubt and the courtesy of asking her, rather than assuming and judging with only partial information?
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What I would add to this, though, is that even if some of the 'facts' are 'true', we still do not know exactly what caused the actions.
I will give my example. I left my husband in an out-of-character (for me) way. It was a rash and quick decision. There was a LOT, a LOT leading up to it. Those are the facts and no one would be able to deny those facts.
I was judged harshly and severely by everybody. No one, not one person, asked me why I had done it. My H got all the sympathy and I got all the scorn. They didn't know what I had lived through and I am still condemned even though I have returned. I have a black mark forever on my forehead or maybe a scarlet letter.
Your T may have done something you find wrong but you do not know the whole story just like others do not know my story. Please, do not judge, lest you be judged.