...just when I thought I discovered the limits of illness as replays in my memories from day to day!

a new experience arrives...accumulating...mocking all my attempts to fight it away.

I'm wondering it's laziness or 'symptom exemption' syndrome.

...where I feel I suffered enough so surely I can drop my guard there must be a limit surely?....an end to the madness.

and still be alive!

it's been such a damn challenge for as long as I choose to forget and fail for as long as I can remember and I'm sure recent comforts have weakened me beyond where those marvelous instincts are effective...

and these are just the very basic comforts...a place to call home

or am I really in the personal 'dark ages?'

wanting to keep the eyes shut tight...until the 'me' I prefer comes back.

this one can make things right can be trusted ...

the shape I'm in now is pure depression and it's eroding my spirit