I can not imagine having to deal with something like that! I know it's hard to open up sometimes but you really need to. Your other therapist was new to you at one time and you opened up so give the new therapist a chance too. Your children want you and need you to find a way to get help so you will be with them always. They have lost one parent, don't let them lose another. Please talk to your new therapist and get the meds you need so badly. You are important to this world.