I don't have the typical obsessions of OCD like washing hands and turning a light switch off a certain number of times, although I think I may have a milder form.

My doctor won't treat me for OCD, and he's a man of little words, so I don't know if he has it in the back of his mind or not. But in 1992 I was treated for OCD with Anafranil, and then in 1999 I was treated for schizoaffective bipolar type, and taken off the OCD medication.

I still find myself obsessing over thoughts - like religious thoughts, and sexual thoughts- then I can't make up my mind and make normal choices. The obsession with religion includes guilt and depression, feeling like I'm in a trap I'll never get out of, and that God will not listen to me. The sexual thoughts are centered around obsessing about pornography, when I really want to be free from all this. The choices I struggle with are everyday are more of not taking care of myself and my health, like taking my insulin like I should, when I will bathe next, etc..

The religious thoughts producing guilt and depression have been treated with an anti-depressant, while the sexual thoughts have been treated with therapy. Neither is going anywhere for me. I'm still a sexual adulterer who condemns himself religiously.

The self-care topic sounds like schizoaffective.

I think I have an obsessive problem with the other things. I know that ultimately I have to get this message to my doctor. So that's fine. But I want to know what you guys think too.