Heya..

May I say that asking if was ok to hug and kiss her was a lovely thing. Sure, its not spontaneous, but its no less romantic for it, at least I dont think so. It shows respect for her space, and checks with her feelings.

The other thing I wanted to say is that this woman is in a bad place. I am not saying she's bad, not at all, but life's been pretty tough on her from what you say, and she's leading a destructive lifestyle with the drugs, and the sex for drugs, and I doubt that its all in the past. Some people who've been so traumatised can start to make the wrong decisions, for all sorts of reasons and its horrible when life has been so cruel.

But I dont think you acted out in too bad a way. Sure, saying mean things to hurt someone is never nice, but again, when someone's hurt, people can lash out and hurt back. I guess hearing about her lifestyle must've been quite hurtful.

While I do think that you both are different people and unless you are very strong in yourself, a lady like this will start to drag you down. She wont mean to, its just who she is with the drugs. Unless she seeks some help with the drugs, finding a way to deal over her awful past then you'd be in for an emotional rollercoaster of a ride, and it probably wouldnt end well anyway, whether now, tomorrow or in a year. I would respect her wishes of not wanting to talk, and look after yourself. You could always keep your door open for the future, but be good to yourself by making sure she's ready to change. Drugs = downward spiral.