thanks kev this is really interesting. hope you're ok now btw!

so... i've had to be "the man" in raising my children, in my business, in all aspects of my life where there were things i'd expected to have a man, a partner helping me.

and i think i'm horrible at it. i only want to be the woman, and create life and beauty. i'm giving and nurturing to a fault. my bf calls me a softie and push-over. people tell me i haven't raised my kids right, i wasn't tough enough on them.

my bipolar makes me very emotional. i think my male side is stern and steady and disciplined - traits i would say bf has, traits i know i don't have. i don't think my male side likes overly female nor my emotional and creative traits.

it's like he/me is being stern with me, wanting to get on track with providing for my family, to control my emotions, leaving me alone in a room with scary spiders to show me that nobody else is going to do it for me.

i don't think i like this animus guy!! am i supposed to? how do i integrate this?