From the age of 4 to 12 I was molested by maternal grandfather. It is over 30 years later and the flashbacks have been coming to me for the last 5-7 years. Throughout my adult life, I have not been able to have a normal realtionship and I always picked the men that had drug and/or alcohol problems, maybe so I could run away. These men were abusive and I accepted it. Just as my grandfather abused my grandmother. For the last 2-3 years I do not want anything to do with sex, as I am afraid I will have a flashback while being intimate. I used to see a counselor but she closed my case, due to conflict of interest with my education, but I never disclosed this information to her.