Like others have said medication can take one or two months to kick in, although some people get lucky and it helps faster. I had to find a reason not to kill myself. I remind myself how devastated the people around me would be, so I stay alive for them. I hope you can find a reason not to hurt yourself. And I hope you start to feel better. Dont be afraid to go to the hospital, it's not the end of the world, I had to do it a couple years ago.